Surprises

In one of my prior posts, I talked about Bunny’s office (Cleaning House, 1/22/12), and how I’d decided to postpone clearing it out for awhile. A lot has happened since then, but when I was visiting Joey and his family last weekend, I declared that this coming Sunday would be The Day: I was finally ready to tackle the man-cave.

“You’ll need to get a bunch of boxes,” Joey said. Duh! We joked about how cleaning out the office would be Bunny’s last laugh on us—he liked to play little jokes; we all did.

One of the best pranks of all time happened last February. Bunny’s cancer, which had been dormant for a short time, kicked into high gear, spreading up his lymph nodes from pelvis to neck within a matter of weeks. He had just completed a second round of radiation, and was about to start his first round of chemo. Joey and Corey still lived in Virginia, and decided to come down for the weekend to surprise him.

It wasn’t easy to surprise Bunny—he was so nosy, he usually figured things out well before the big reveal. For about two weeks, Joey and I plotted and planned. He almost caught us at one point, but I explained away the conversation Joey and I were having. Finally, the big day came: Joey had told Bunny that he and Corey were going to Atlantic City for the weekend, but really, they had flown down to Tampa. Joey had talked about his AC trip that whole week with great enthusiasm, asking Bunny about the places he’d visited there when he was in the Navy. Bunny and I were supposed to be going to AC in a few weeks, ourselves, so Joey promised to be on the lookout for the best new places.

I picked up Joey and Corey (“JoCo”) at the airport in the early afternoon and took them to the Hard Rock, where they would be spending the night. They’d come to our house for the next two nights, after the big surprise. I went back to work and waited for Bunny to come home. He called me about mid-afternoon to tell me that Joey had called from AC and was having a great time.

“Oh! You’ll never guess who’s in town!” I said excitedly. Up to this point, I hadn’t formulated an excuse to get him to the Hard Rock.

“Who?”

“Woodie and Cheryl! I told them we’d have dinner with them, so come straight home.” Then I told him I had another call coming in and had to go.

He had been pleasantly surprised—we hadn’t seen Woodie and Cheryl in a long time. Cheryl was a CRNA—a nurse anesthetist—and she’d been the one who set us up on our first date. Her husband is a retired Air Force pilot (and Vietnam hero) who worked as a CPA until a few years ago. He retired from the Air Force as a Lt. Colonel, but Cheryl didn’t retire from the Air Force Reserves until she outranked him as a full Colonel. I think it was mostly so he’d have to salute her. They are, quite literally, the most accomplished people I’ve ever met, and they’re funny and down-to-earth and a joy to be with. We saw them fairly often when we lived in Atlanta. They travel all the time--I doubt there are many places in the world they haven’t been--so they were a good choice for unexpected people coming to town.

I had about two hours to weave a story about why they were in Tampa. I had to be able to sell whatever I came up with, which would be very difficult. Most of the time, I couldn’t get anything past Bunny—he could almost always tell when I was fibbing. Meanwhile, Joey was arranging with the front desk to give me a key to get up to their room. At the Hard Rock, the elevators are guarded, so you have to show your key to board them.

By the time Bunny got home it was dark, so I rushed him out the door, saying we were late. We jumped into my car and set out, with me driving. I was also thanking my lucky stars for the darkness, because he wouldn’t be able to see my face. I was hoping my voice wouldn’t give anything away.

“How was your day?” I asked innocently.

“Why are Woodie and Cheryl in Tampa?” The nosy rabbit was coming out right away.

“Something Cheryl’s doing at MacDill—a presentation or something.” MacDill is a big Air Force base in Tampa, Cheryl’s always lecturing on something, and before she retired she was one of the top ranking nurses in the Air Force, so this was a pretty easy sell.

“Why aren’t they staying with us?”

“Bunny, you know she’s allergic to cats.” This is 100% true, so again, an easy sell.

“Oh, that’s right. Wait—where are you going? Just go down Dale Mabry!” Bunny had a very irritating habit of always back-seat driving. Side note: he was one of the worst drivers ever. Also, in general, his sense of direction was non-existent, but even he knew that MacDill was a straight shot south, and I was heading toward the interstate.

“They’re not staying at MacDill.” I hadn’t thought ahead for this part, so now I was totally going to have to come up with something on-the-fly.

“Where are they staying?”

“At the Hard Rock.”

“What??!!??” Bunny didn’t like the Hard Rock very much, so the mere mention of it made him suspicious.

“They’re staying at the Hard Rock. Apparently, Woodie is really into Blackjack, so he wanted to stay there so he’d have something to do while Cheryl’s at MacDill.” To this day, I have no idea whether Woodie plays Blackjack, but it wasn’t too far of a leap—he’s an accountant, and he has all kinds of hidden talents at board games, so I was turning him into a semi-pro Blackjack player.

“Really? I didn’t know Woodie played Blackjack.” He was buying it!

“Yeah, we didn’t know he played Scrabble, either, until he handed us our asses.” As it turned out, Woodie used to write crossword puzzles for a newspaper, so he’s a Scrabble savant. That little detail sealed the deal.

We walked through the casino with me pretending to scan the Blackjack tables for Woodie, and Bunny doing it for real. I managed to give him the slip long enough to get the key from the desk clerk, and we rode the elevator up to the room.

He knocked on the door and when Joey opened it, Bunny had a look on his face that I’d rarely seen before: absolute shock. It was priceless! Thank God Corey had the camera ready.

That weekend seems so long ago, but it was only last February. I know the exact date, because I was scanning Bunny’s Facebook page Sunday night and came upon the pictures. I was astonished at how good he looked: no one could have guessed that he’d be gone in less than a year. My heart broke to see him looking so happy, so (outwardly) healthy, so alive.

Tonight, JoCo and the kids came over. While the kids and I were playing, JoCo went into the man-cave to size up the job. Joey was also looking for the power cord for a camera I’d given to Trinity. Suddenly, it was like Bunny’s spirit possessed me: he hated when I touched his stacks, and I could hear JoCo shuffling through stuff.

“Joey, get out of there!” I called. No response. I waited a few minutes before calling out again.

“I’m looking for mumble mumble mumble,” he shouted back. I told him to get out again, an unexplainable anxiety quickly rising in me. More mumbling.

Finally, I got up and went to the doorway.

“Get out. I don’t have the boxes yet!” I said. Corey came out right away, but Joey had two more cents to contribute.

“I think we can just use these,” he said, showing me a plastic storage box.

“I’m not ready for you to be in here!” I replied, tears uncontrollably streaming down my face. Joey was sorry that he’d caused such angst, and even called once they got home to apologize. I still can’t explain why I reacted the way I did. I just know that I’m not ready yet. Which is a shame, because it’s a perfectly good (albeit extremely cluttered) room going to waste.

On the bright side, Corey got in touch with a chess club today to see if they were interested in all the chess paraphernalia. Bunny wanted his chess collection to go to a chess club, and as it turns out, the man Corey spoke with actually knew Bunny. That will be a good way to start dismantling the collections—once the first collection is out the door, the others should be easier. Time will tell.