When it Rains, it Pours

Tomorrow will mark the 28th day since Bunny died.  Today, I held my mother's hand as she slipped away from this earth.  A more paranoid person might think there was a cloud over her head, or question why her loved ones keep dying.  I'm more pragmatic: my husband and my mother were both chronically ill, and either of them could have gone at any time.  Really, any of us could go at any time.

I've always tried to make sense of loss, but especially since Bunny found out he had cancer.  Bunny didn't really take good care of himself up to that point--he was very overweight, had high blood pressure and didn't exercise.   He could have taken better care of himself once he got diagnosed, but didn't.  My mom's situation was similar.  She got extremely ill--near death--10 years ago.  Once she recovered, she could have taken better care of herself, but didn't.  Would it have made a difference in either of their cases if they had changed their ways?  Maybe.  But I think not.  I have a cousin who likes to say that none of us has an expiration date stamped on the bottom of his or her foot.  I've come to believe that when a person's time is up, it's up.  Period.

That point was driven home to me over and over again and I helped Bunny with his fight.  During those almost three years, young, healthy people made the news constantly, dying in plane crashes or skiing or just--quite literally--dropping dead.  In one heartbreaking circumstance, a good friend of mine suddenly became widowed when her husband was hit by a glider when he was jogging on a beach.   He was only in his mid-thirties.  Deaths like his are the ones I have a harder time accepting and understanding.  Here was a guy who took excellent care of himself and he was gone in the blink of an eye while taking care of himself.  How does that make sense?

The short answer is, it doesn't.  Maybe it's not meant to.  Who knows, except God?  The fact is, we've all got to go at some point.  While we're here, we should treasure our loved ones, be kind to others, and try to be the best people we can be.